A lot of American Idol blog entries has been in my blog recently… A lot of deadlines to meet in my work recently… A lot of things to do and think because we are moving in to a new house very soon…

And again, I came to a point where my mind suddenly shouted, “Timeout!”…

I’ve been posting a lot of “not so personal” things in my blog recently - American Idol stuffs to be exact. I am an avid fan of Season 7 and I really wanted to share my thoughts regarding the show. And now it’s over, I now have Wednesdays and Thursdays again to post whatever I like.

I really had lots of things to do in my job recently - coding, testing, presentations, etc. It really makes my mind tired after each working day. And I was surprised that my 5 months probationary contract is over. I thought at first that I’d leave this company before my fifth month. But I am still here… for regularization. If you ask me if I am already happy with my work… Well, I’m already used to it… But happy? It’s still a hard question to answer. Yah, I am happy with the outcome of my work (hopefully, they are too), but there are really still a lot of things I want to do and to learn. I know there’s more outside… But adjusting to a new environment is really depressing for me. And that is what I am already trying to avoid.

I want to work with people who are like me… You know, someone who I can relate to, or someone who can relate to me. It’s not that I am not happy with my work mates, but I really want to express my childish side with people I know who can understand me.

We are moving to a new house very soon. During the early stages of the construction, I was really filled with excitement. And now that we are just counting down the days, I still feel excited, but also somehow sad because we are already going to leave the house where I love for almost my whole life. I’ll definitely miss my grandma and my auntie who lives beside our house. I will leave all my things which I already don’t need. No more thinking of “sentimental values”.

It feels like that I am about to open a new chapter in my life soon… hoping for better and happier things to come.

My life for the past few months just evolved on work, household chores, house construction, some time for recreation, and some time for myself. I just realized that I feel like I am missing something… love.

So much things happened the past months. It’s hard to love when you know to yourself that you aren’t ready yet. And that’s what I felt. But I just woke up one day that I suddenly felt like I want to feel the same old feeling again… I want to love somebody the way I loved before… And I want to be loved again the way I felt before…